« The Deal-E-O

How is this a real sport? How is it even LEGAL?

by Justin

he "future" of sport...looks kind of like a sport. There's two teams...two goals...a ball. And that's where the similarities end. I have long stood by the belief that MMA isn't really a sport- what they consider sport is what animals in the wild call survival.

This is worse. Welcome to UTB, or Ultimate Tazer Ball. An indoor soccer meets handball meets police brutality pastime gaining popularity in our country. Guy has the ball? That's a tazing. Guy trying to get the ball? Tazing. Player enters the shock zone? Oh you know that's a tazing.

Watch these idiots race up and down the field, tazer in hand, looking for a chance to blast their opponent with a jolt of electricity. How is it possible to be a "good sport" when the encouraged maneuver is to render the ball handler (or anyone in your way) completely incapacitated and gasping for oxygen?

So far as I can tell, no one has died on the field...yet. But is this really what we want to cheer for? Do you want to sport the jersey of the guy who records the highest TPA (tazed player average)?

I know this could be an efficient thinning of the herd...but at what cost? I'd hate to see kids begin idolizing their favorite UTB "athlete" and take their training tazers to school for a playground session.