Sure, drinking alcohol can make you chubby.  But if you're afraid it won't make you chubby ENOUGH, here's a product you'll want to check out.  And it also happens to make an excellent Christmas gift.

There's a company in New York that sells WINE ICE CREAM.  It's 5% alcohol-by-volume and still tastes like real ice cream . . . so you can get drunk AND eat dessert at the same time.  It comes in flavors like Peach White Zinfandel and Chocolate Cabernet.  Each pint costs $8 and they'll ship anywhere in the U.S. by packing it in dry ice. 

(--Here's the website.)